....and where have all my pen-pals gone?

It wasn't until the late nineties that having pen-pals became something that went out of style....

Having pen-pals was something kids of of the 60's and 70's yearned for. It's almost like today's kids' "No Face-Book, No Face" scenario. But not exactly - because pen-pals are real - you can't have 800, or 1,800 pen-pals like in having friends in Face-Book.... Two or three pen-pals at the most at one time, ...and we don't "friend" and "unfriend" and "friend" again and again!

Handwritten letters from pen-pals are sent with a sincere and warm touch, - received with great  enthusiasm and happiness. Waiting for the post-man to come and deliver your pen-pal's letter straight to your hands exhilarates the mind, body and soul! They are all the time!

During that era, millions of people all over the world wait for a letter or write a letter each day. As a result, a lot of popular songs about waiting for the letter or the postman, hit the number one spot throughout the world pop charts. Like "Mr. Postman" by The Beatles and much later covered by The Carpenters. There's another one "The Letter", and another one "Blame It On The Pony Express" or an earlier one, "A Dear John Letter" There were just too many!

Postmen became our friends, post-offices & pillar post-boxes our landmarks!

Today, the only "letters" that that come into our post-box seem to be just confined to bills - utility bills, phone bills, bank statements, letter from lawyers, hah!..., subscribed magazines and and junk mails. Sometimes, a bullet in an envelope - so letter boxes are of no use anymore!

Kids of those days select pen-pals carefully and start friendships that for many, went on beyond just friendship. Many even got married! They wrote Love Letters ("kuih kapit") ....instead of frienship letters.

By having pen-pals, we expanded our vocabulary, and started to become curious about those places and culture of our pen-pals; some of whom may be from a far-away land.

Cheecheng had one from Ireland, and as soon as Beatlemania swept the world, she sent him a Hard Day's Night EP record. The cover was a piece of ART! I was aiming at that cover, and when big bro was not paying attention to it 6 months later, I cut the cover into 20 portraits to paste on my songbook! kekeke....

He discovered his loss only 6 months later, when he wanted to play it on our cousins' gramophone, I think.  ....and by george!!,  I dodged and escaped again. For he told me he wanted to whack the guy who stole his record cover until he look this this!-------->>>

Since that incident, I decided to have my own pen-pals so that I may start friendships and gift exchanges. I was 13 years old.

I was travelling down to KL recently, and passed by a highway sign that says turn left to Pusing. Yeah, I had a pen-pal named Angie who lived in Pusing in 1970. I was 16 and she's a nice country girl who invited me to visit her. I had no means to do that as the road and public transportation was pretty poor then (in1970-71) and "...it's so FAR!" ....and btw, "pusing" in malay means to turn around. 

Perhaps, that was what prevented us from meeting up - everytime she says she's coming, or I say I'm going, something comes up and we have to do the turning back, "pusing balik" in malay lingo. ..."and the twain shall never meet"

I heard from her that there's this good and yummy food outlet in Pusing and a quick check on the internet yesterday indicated that it's still there. Maybe someday I will need to check it out, without Angie. I don't know where she is now but wherever she may be, I wish her all the best.

Another pen-pal Wendy is from Toa Payoh Singapore. She is very pretty, has a very artsy and stylised handwriting and she likes to send me post-cards of Singapore. She always timed her cards to reach me before the weekend. I reciprocated with post-cards of Penang. Hmmm...she's my post-card pen-pal who writes from the community library (pic)

In time we built up a collection of nearly three scores! It was unfortunate that the whole bundle was thrown away by mum during the spring cleaning to prepare for the 1972 CNY. "Rubbish photos," she said.

"Rubbish?"....they'd be antiques by now, very valuable, including those post-cards of Penang in the 60's and early 70's. But I must not argue with Mum.

"Good kids don't dis-obey their parents", Confucius said.

I had 2 other pen-pals, one from Taiping who came visiting and we went to the movies, chatted as we had ice-kacang and lunch at Pasar Chowrasta, and a long stroll down Penang Road. We lost touch after she went for more studies.

Another one from Loke Yew Flats (backgound in the pic), KL  - a cute dolly named Shinie. Her hand-writing was ugh!...terrible, but her personality stood out. We met, and we kept in touch writing letters for a few years. She got married, I suppose so for my other pen-pals as well - and somehow we lost touch.

My pen-pals and I exchanged a lot of letters, birthday cards, congratulatory cards, post-cards, gifts, seasonal greeting cards, and we learnt more about ourselves and places we're from. This kind of friendship is very sentimental, stays within you.

This feeling is something that can be treasured and cherished by all who had pen-pals before. So, to all my former pen-pals wherever you may be, thank you for those wonderful times!

If you happen to read this blog, just look at me with my thinking cap on - I'm still waiting for the postman to bring me your letter!

Today, things have changed.....

With the advent of the internet, computerisation and digitalisation of communication, there are lots of WYSIWYG-agenda-based-WIIFM-emails, unsolicited or uncalled for face-book postings/comments, twittering just to be "in", sms (when one should call or meet) and msn chattings (without the camera, when it can be used) - people don't actually talk with each other, and you can't be sure of the sincerity of the person you are communicating with when all things are typewritten. Everyone's typeface is the same, nothing you can make out from hand-writings, because there is none.

Pen-pals reveal a lot about how they feel through their handwriting and expressions, and they sincerely set aside their time to write you a letter.

It is sometimes extremely delightful to call to or receive a telephone call from your pen-pal, but that only is done once in a blue moon - telephones & phone bills are luxuries not many can afford in those days.

Today, everybody call their friends on the mobile or send sms several times a day, but the sad part is that these people seldom go beyond their circle of friends. Communication is very synthetic and superficial today.

Discuss with your parents if they had pen-pals before. I'm sure if they had, nothing can erase those memories. Or if you had, share your memories.