....and let us help stem out internet bullying!

I'll take a little breather from my usual stuff this time, and write on something more serious that needs to be highlighted.

I'm writing about internet bullying, and those hidden cowardly bullies who stop at nothing when they have a victim.

I'm writing this as a caution to all my readers as I recently, personally, witnessed incessant bullying of a few bloggers at an online blog cum forum where the moderators did nothing to stop the torment. I stepped in to give those bullies a piece of my mind, as the following passages.....

...........Internet bullying is a form of personal attack which employs the repeated use of internet technology; including blogs, chat rooms, and online forums to deliberately belittle, harass, pressure, threaten, intimidate or insult others.

Unlike physical bullying, where the victim can walk away, technology now allows for continuous harassment, from any distance. In a developing or developed country, almost everyone known and unknown to each other is connected through the internet.

Internet bullying takes the concept of school-yard bullying to a much higher level. An internet bully uses insulting, crude, or offensive language to tarnish the personal status of his victims, just to make himself feel good and superior. The bully lures his victim into a trap to lambast and humiliate him, thus re-affirming his territorial tuft and polishing his ego.

While internet bullying is often done by children who have increasing access to these technologies, it is by no means confined to children. It amazes me to find the older folks, supposedly mature and educated - engage in such arrogant acts.

                

As internet bullying can have a negative or even destructive emotional effect on victims, ranging from hurt feelings to intense anger, one must have the courage to respond appropriately when bullied – but don’t draw yourself down to the bullies’ level. Face the bully in style - report, tell him off!....online. Stand up to all those diatribes we read and witness here at this forum every day quickly. Speak your mind.

Don’t tolerate internet bullying or become an accomplice. Worst still, don't allow yourself be bullied and tormented and still keep it to yourself.

I have been in this blog community just about 2 weeks or so. For my blog this week, I want to share with you the few common types of internet bullying that all of us should digress from:

1. Flaming - It is an online fight, continuously posting blogs that are deliberately hostile, insulting, mean, angry, vulgar or insulting, to one person or several in an online forum or blog.

2. Denigrating - When the bully intentionally publishes cruel and insulting rumours about a person to intentionally damage the victim's reputation or friendship, or to teach him a lesson.

3. Bashing – Mean, hateful and malicious responses to those who infuriate the informal and self-proclaimed “moderators”

4. Trickery - When a bully purposely tricks another blogger into flaming and then attempt to engage him into a bullies’ “home-ground” to be trashed.

5. Exclusion - An indirect bullying method to intentionally exclude someone from his community. The opposite is Inclusion, where a group conspires to bully others whom they dislike and are not in their group.

6. Harassment - When the bully repeatedly insinuates by posting insulting, hurtful, rude, and demeaning questions and comments/messages aimed at his victim.

7. Opinion Polling - Ask readers to talk on specific questions, often very hurtful and demeaning, such as "Who is the chicken here in this forum" or "Who do you love to hate?"

8. Grieving – It involves chronically causing grief to other members of an online community or intentionally disrupting the immersion of another player in their game play.

9. I hope this is not happening here, and never will - Impersonation – It is what it means literally; and the bullying starts when postings are executed, supposedly from the victim or by posting material online to irreparably harm the victim.................

Internet bullying is now very rampant, I can see it in facebook, tweets and online blogs/forums, sometimes victims just keep quiet. This is not good for it can only get worse!

If we include sms texts, mms, then it is cyber-bullying at a grand scale! Do your part to stop this bullying that hurts more than this------>

Read this...................

It will be of interest for you to read http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/ about this topic that is affecting children. Our children are even more vulnerable to this bullying.

                   

....and where have all my pen-pals gone?

It wasn't until the late nineties that having pen-pals became something that went out of style....

Having pen-pals was something kids of of the 60's and 70's yearned for. It's almost like today's kids' "No Face-Book, No Face" scenario. But not exactly - because pen-pals are real - you can't have 800, or 1,800 pen-pals like in having friends in Face-Book.... Two or three pen-pals at the most at one time, ...and we don't "friend" and "unfriend" and "friend" again and again!

Handwritten letters from pen-pals are sent with a sincere and warm touch, - received with great  enthusiasm and happiness. Waiting for the post-man to come and deliver your pen-pal's letter straight to your hands exhilarates the mind, body and soul! They are all the time!

During that era, millions of people all over the world wait for a letter or write a letter each day. As a result, a lot of popular songs about waiting for the letter or the postman, hit the number one spot throughout the world pop charts. Like "Mr. Postman" by The Beatles and much later covered by The Carpenters. There's another one "The Letter", and another one "Blame It On The Pony Express" or an earlier one, "A Dear John Letter" There were just too many!

Postmen became our friends, post-offices & pillar post-boxes our landmarks!

Today, the only "letters" that that come into our post-box seem to be just confined to bills - utility bills, phone bills, bank statements, letter from lawyers, hah!..., subscribed magazines and and junk mails. Sometimes, a bullet in an envelope - so letter boxes are of no use anymore!

Kids of those days select pen-pals carefully and start friendships that for many, went on beyond just friendship. Many even got married! They wrote Love Letters ("kuih kapit") ....instead of frienship letters.

By having pen-pals, we expanded our vocabulary, and started to become curious about those places and culture of our pen-pals; some of whom may be from a far-away land.

Cheecheng had one from Ireland, and as soon as Beatlemania swept the world, she sent him a Hard Day's Night EP record. The cover was a piece of ART! I was aiming at that cover, and when big bro was not paying attention to it 6 months later, I cut the cover into 20 portraits to paste on my songbook! kekeke....

He discovered his loss only 6 months later, when he wanted to play it on our cousins' gramophone, I think.  ....and by george!!,  I dodged and escaped again. For he told me he wanted to whack the guy who stole his record cover until he look this this!-------->>>

Since that incident, I decided to have my own pen-pals so that I may start friendships and gift exchanges. I was 13 years old.

I was travelling down to KL recently, and passed by a highway sign that says turn left to Pusing. Yeah, I had a pen-pal named Angie who lived in Pusing in 1970. I was 16 and she's a nice country girl who invited me to visit her. I had no means to do that as the road and public transportation was pretty poor then (in1970-71) and "...it's so FAR!" ....and btw, "pusing" in malay means to turn around. 

Perhaps, that was what prevented us from meeting up - everytime she says she's coming, or I say I'm going, something comes up and we have to do the turning back, "pusing balik" in malay lingo. ..."and the twain shall never meet"

I heard from her that there's this good and yummy food outlet in Pusing and a quick check on the internet yesterday indicated that it's still there. Maybe someday I will need to check it out, without Angie. I don't know where she is now but wherever she may be, I wish her all the best.

Another pen-pal Wendy is from Toa Payoh Singapore. She is very pretty, has a very artsy and stylised handwriting and she likes to send me post-cards of Singapore. She always timed her cards to reach me before the weekend. I reciprocated with post-cards of Penang. Hmmm...she's my post-card pen-pal who writes from the community library (pic)

In time we built up a collection of nearly three scores! It was unfortunate that the whole bundle was thrown away by mum during the spring cleaning to prepare for the 1972 CNY. "Rubbish photos," she said.

"Rubbish?"....they'd be antiques by now, very valuable, including those post-cards of Penang in the 60's and early 70's. But I must not argue with Mum.

"Good kids don't dis-obey their parents", Confucius said.

I had 2 other pen-pals, one from Taiping who came visiting and we went to the movies, chatted as we had ice-kacang and lunch at Pasar Chowrasta, and a long stroll down Penang Road. We lost touch after she went for more studies.

Another one from Loke Yew Flats (backgound in the pic), KL  - a cute dolly named Shinie. Her hand-writing was ugh!...terrible, but her personality stood out. We met, and we kept in touch writing letters for a few years. She got married, I suppose so for my other pen-pals as well - and somehow we lost touch.

My pen-pals and I exchanged a lot of letters, birthday cards, congratulatory cards, post-cards, gifts, seasonal greeting cards, and we learnt more about ourselves and places we're from. This kind of friendship is very sentimental, stays within you.

This feeling is something that can be treasured and cherished by all who had pen-pals before. So, to all my former pen-pals wherever you may be, thank you for those wonderful times!

If you happen to read this blog, just look at me with my thinking cap on - I'm still waiting for the postman to bring me your letter!

Today, things have changed.....

With the advent of the internet, computerisation and digitalisation of communication, there are lots of WYSIWYG-agenda-based-WIIFM-emails, unsolicited or uncalled for face-book postings/comments, twittering just to be "in", sms (when one should call or meet) and msn chattings (without the camera, when it can be used) - people don't actually talk with each other, and you can't be sure of the sincerity of the person you are communicating with when all things are typewritten. Everyone's typeface is the same, nothing you can make out from hand-writings, because there is none.

Pen-pals reveal a lot about how they feel through their handwriting and expressions, and they sincerely set aside their time to write you a letter.

It is sometimes extremely delightful to call to or receive a telephone call from your pen-pal, but that only is done once in a blue moon - telephones & phone bills are luxuries not many can afford in those days.

Today, everybody call their friends on the mobile or send sms several times a day, but the sad part is that these people seldom go beyond their circle of friends. Communication is very synthetic and superficial today.

Discuss with your parents if they had pen-pals before. I'm sure if they had, nothing can erase those memories. Or if you had, share your memories.

....and The Who are the pinball wizards.

It's been a long time.

Back in 1970 the young and old in Penang were crazy about billiards and snookers. I didn't like that parlour game; those guys were too good at the tables and they have been at it for years! Every game involved some bets, and you can bet your bottom dollar, just too many "crocodiles" ( or "buayas" - the local term for hustlers targeting other players pocket money for a free meal) are after you.

The pinball mania hit Penang in that year, with a main distributor of the pinball machines raking in millions!

A new age for pinball as it entered the realm of electronic gaming. With circuit boards, colourfully illuminated digital displays, and upbeat music as you hit new high scores, gain extra-balls, and earn free games was truly pleasant to the ears!...man, those machines were cool!

It is an arcade game where the machines gobble 20 cent coins just like a crocodiles eating a mouse-deers for breakfast!

I invested, paid "tuition fees" to the machines to become adept in scoring points and earning free games by manipulating one or more metal balls on a playfield inside a glass-covered case, - many a times I tilted those 300-pound machines just to keep the ball in play. I got better by the day, after losing much money; and with my neighbourhood chums, we became "Pinball Wizards"! What a title! Each time we walk into a pinball arcade, the "amateurs" look at us with awe, ...with respect and admiration!

The popularity of the game was compounded exponentially by The Who's rock opera Tommy, which went on to become a Broadway hit! Many songs from Tommy topped the charts all over the world, and one song "Pinball Wizard" became every pinball machine players' anthem!

The main objective of the game is to score as many points as possible, and to maximize the time spent playing with as few 20 cents coin as possible, by earning extra balls and keeping the ball in play.

Of course, elements of gambling crept into the game. Being good at it, I can make sometimes 10 dollars in a whole Friday night (normally) beating competitors out at the arcade. That was a lot of money in those days (a clerk earns just 80 dollars a month then!) Saturday nights, we'll enjoy the winnings....a kinda pinball hustler!

There were no pinball arcades in the heritage enclave where I lived then, so every Fiday nights we have to ride our bicycles to Macalister Road or Burmah Road where there a number of pinball arcades to check out!

Friday nights have always been special for me for a couple of years then. Friday is the time for the pinball wizard to make some money!

It will be Friday soon, but too bad, pinball playing has already gone out of style. Machines are no longer there.

Present day kids head for TGIF and other joints, go clubbing, get stoned on alcohol,  hang around complexes, or play 3D & networked computer games - paid by their parents.

Sigh*......